Pushing my luck

Before the last bite was consumed , I knew it was a mistake.

It’s like someone went through my bowels with a steel-toothed rake.

Once opened, tomato sauce has the life span of a fruit fly

So why tempt fate? Don’t you know you could die?

If the toilet seat wore a suit, it’d have to be triple breasted

To protect it from the outpour of what had no chance of being digested.